Learn How To Make Friends As An Adult Using These 5 Steps

I hit my social peak at 5 years old. Kindergarten was da bomb, let me tell you. I was double booked for play dates. I frequently had three, yes THREE birthday parties in the same weekend. During lunch, I had a system to hang out with all of my friends. I would eat my sandwich at the blue table, eat my carrots at the green table and eat dessert with the red table (where the best swapping was). At recess, it was agony trying to decide if I should play tag, do the monkey bars or trade stickers at the big oak in the corner of the playground—often panting while trying to do all three.

When the end of school bell rung, I would skip along the line of waiting mothers in their parked cars and high five all of my friends as they pulled away. Sometimes I cried before ‘having’ to go away on school break. And then… middle school. It went downhill from there. Why is it so hard to make friends as an adult, Am I the only one who struggles with this, Hi, I like trucks. I like trucks too. This is my dinosaur. Can I be your friend, Let’s play with dinosaurs on trucks. I wish I could walk up to someone nice, tell them something I liked and then ask them to be my friend.

If only it were that easy! For some reason, adult friends become much trickier. We meet less new people. We no longer have new classes every semester like in college, an infinite number of high school clubs or sports or summer camps to attend. Our priorities have changed. As kids, priority number 1 is fun. You want to play, you have recess, school vacations, after school play dates and camp. As adults, we work, we have responsibilities to family and bills. Often times, play, fun and relaxation take a backseat. We’re too cool. Let’s be honest, asking someone to be your friend sounds lame. They might say no. So we act like we’re too busy for friends, like we’re too old for play dates, like we don’t need anyone anyways. We’re afraid of being rejected, so we don’t put ourselves out there.

We’re worried that someone might be secretly toxic, so we hold back. We’re worried about being taken advantage of, so we pull away. But here’s the thing. Friends matter. Money will come and go and career success will fade in later years, but friends only make you richer. I believe that finding, building and maintaining fulfilling friendships is one of the most important things we do in our lifetime. I know it’s hard. But I have a big idea. Friendship is the new romance. I feel incredibly blessed to have found the most amazing group of friends after many, many years of awkward searching. They love to dress up in crazy costumes, are willing to participate in my science experiments (usually) and put up with my weird antics (like asking to be blindfolded and seeing if I can recognize each of them by scent). Christmas Toga Party…because why not,