How To Make Friends As An Adult In 4 Simple Steps

As many people in their 50s have discovered, making friends as an adult is difficult. Without the social bonds that connect us to others as parents, many of us feel isolated -- or even a little lonely. The truth is that it is possible to have an active social life at any age -- but, first, we need to accept the fact that making friends after 50 is an active process. We can no longer afford to wait for other people to come to us. We need to take action. This is the main reason that I decided to build Boomerly.

I wanted to create a place where older adults could go to meet like-minded people. Along the way, I had the opportunity to talk with hundreds of people about their experiences making friends as an adult. Through these conversations, I learned that the people who succeed in building meaningful friendships as an adult are the ones that follow these four steps. When you ask people how to make friends as an adult, they usually give you suggestions like, "just get out there," "join a dance class," or, "try speed dating." On the surface, these are fine suggestions. After all, making friends does require us to get out into the world and take a few emotional risks.

Most of the time, however, we are not lacking for ideas on where to meet people. We are missing the motivation, confidence and self-esteem to get started. For this reason, most people find that reconnecting with themselves is a prerequisite to reconnecting with others. Think back over the last five decades. Have you spent most of your life looking after other people, Have you left your own passions on the back-burner, Have you let your physical appearance go as you focused on raising your family, Do you feel a bit emotionally bruised by the disappointments that you have faced over the years,

Do you have regrets that are holding you back, Dealing with these issues won't happen overnight. Be gentle with yourself. If you don't feel like "getting out there" right away, don't force yourself. Instead, identify the issues that you can control in your life and focus on those. If you feel tired, out of shape, or sad, most of the time, making friends is going to be extremely difficult. Fortunately, there are plenty of simple things that you can do to increase your physical and emotional resources. Most people don't realize just how disconnected from their bodies they have become until it is too late. Fitness after 50 is not about looking a certain way for other people.



It is about having the energy and confidence to explore the world and make friends on your own terms. Start small. Use the 1-minute technique to gradually increase your commitment to exercise. Get out into nature. Set a timer to remind yourself to get up every hour to stretch. Then, as your confidence and stamina improve, increase your level of commitment. Join a local gym or see if your community center has fitness equipment that you can use. Find a sport that you love. Whatever you do, do something. While you build up your body, don't forget to nourish your mind. Write down one thing every day that you are grateful for. Spend a few minutes every day in meditation or prayer.